Does Google like you more if you mention them a lot? I have no idea - but in case they read every article about themselves let me assure you that they are the backbone of this site. Well, in combination with coffee and/or cheap liquor. (Depends on time of day). Anyway, that has nothing to do with what I am here to talk about. If, like me, you have a website - chances are you have found yourself at one point or another at Google's Webmaster Tools. Man, I could spend hours in there. It's a problem I know. Anyway, the highlight for me is always seeing the 'Top search queries.' In short, what do people type into the magic Google bar to find themselves here. Well, likely another tab - but somewhere in Canucklehead land. Well, here for your enjoyment are my current TOP 10 - with editorials by me where appropriate. Well, without further ado:
Top search queries - www.canucklehead.ca
#1 canandian tire (37%) - I was pleasantly surprised to see I ranked second for this. For my American friends - this is a pretty big chain in Canada and a real institution. Imagine a home depot that also sells sporting goods and car parts and you are getting pretty close. Of course, there is a catch. I actually spelled 'canadian' wrong, as clearly is common - at least among the riff-raff who end up here. (Update: now corrected.) Oh, by the way - it comes from a classic old commercial I posted under the LOOK section - you can see it HERE.
#2 canucklehead (10%) - Yeah, this one is pretty self-explanatory. I've made some progress lately and am now ranked second, which is still likely one less than a site with my name deserves. Anyway, moving on ...
#3 itsy (10%) - This one is just plain confusing. Has my wife started a section on here? Anyway, it brings people here so I may have to work it into my regular vocabulary. You know, just an itsy bit.
#4 nipple pinch (8%) - Considering the immense competition I must have for this term I'm pleasantly surprised and a little disturbed. (Just an itsy bit). To place sixth in this is just great, but I'm too scared to click any of my competition's links. For the record, it is part of a joke in my LAUGH section, which you can read HERE.
#5 imagine jack johnson (5%) - I really do love Jack Johnson's music. I've seen him many times live and would recommend to anyone. Really great. Anyway, I posted the video to his cover of John Lennon's "Imagine" - it is HERE.
#6 pinch nipples (4%) - When added to 'nipple pinch' above this is 12% of my Google traffic. Mind blowing. It goes to show you - people love pinching nipples!
#7 free rice (3%) - This was in a blog post I did about the site where you can test your vocabulary and feed the hungry at the same time. I've seen and heard a lot of stuff about this site soon so it looks like it is really catching on. I really hope it is not revealed later to be just a scam. The companies involved all seem well-known and sound so I'm going to continue having faith. If you really want you can read the post HERE but why not skip the formalities and just PLAY THE GAME INSTEAD?
#8 the age project (3%) - Another great site that I'm honoured to be associated with, even in such a insignificant way. Actually, because I've set my archives to 25 the post is now gone, but I think it is almost better just to TRY IT YOURSELF.
#9 pickle jokes (3%) - Yeah! My favourite joke. I heard it years ago and have my trying desperately even since to brand it as mine - with mixed results. If you don't know any good pickle(cutter) jokes - today is your lucky day. This is the first thing I posted on the original Canucklehead.ca I think - and has since been reposted HERE.
#10 best ouzo chiporo (2%) - This is amazingly the only one that I am actually rated first at. That's right, Canucklehead.ca - your #1 source for all things chipiro. For those of you who missed my DRUNKEN POST earlier, chipiro is a stronger and more potent homemade ouzo. That's right - the Greeks have actually figured out a way to make it worse. It is also the drink of choice at my in-laws and a cure-all according to my good friend Nick. To be ranked #1 in this is truly an honour and luckily I know where a huge stockpile of the stuff is when the orders come rolling in!
Well, the 10 terms above make up 85% of my traffic from Google. Pretty wild. Anyway, it has oft been said that you should not judge a book by it's cover and I will similarly suggest that you should not judge a site but the queries that bring people there. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) Until next time, this Canandian will just be sitting around, eating a big bowl of free rice with pickles while drinking best ouzo chiporo and pinching my itsy nipples.